Those Chain mail forwards

My Sister-in-law forwarded the following to me a few weeks ago. Typically, they go right in the trash. But I just felt the need to respond to it. My response is at the end. (Just to note, I grew up in New Orleans and some of my wife’s family is still there.)

The forward:

How do we pass a law?

(I sure would like to know who wrote this one! They deserve a HUGE pat on the back!)

Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don’t have to pass a urine test. Shouldn’t one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their BUTT , doing drugs, while I work. . . . Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check.
Pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don’t. Hope you all will pass it along, though . . . something has to change in this country — and soon!

My response:

Let us say that, maybe, 25% of the people getting a welfare check are abusing. (Which would be a staggering number [1]). Do you think that this would really save money? Here is how I see it breaking down:

0/ We have increased costs, paying people to collect, process and administer urine tests
1/ We have also increased the illegal urine trade ;-) [2]
2/ Storage of all the data (Just think urine warehouses) [3]
3/ We have people disputing the results (I had a poppy seed muffin top in the waiting room!) Which means more attorneys, more testing, more money!

And what does this result in? Either, you lost all of your cost savings or, you have increased your costs. And who pays for increased government costs? You, and your children, and your children’s children and their children’s children…..

But on the other hand, you have created new jobs and could reduce the number those that need welfare [4]. So it could be a boom to the economy!

This could be just the thing we need to stop the recession we are about to experience.


PS I have *never* had to have a urine test for any of my employers. (White collar workers have it so easy….sitting on our butts, getting fat, looking at youtube, all day long!)

1 “Since TANF was enacted, the number of people on welfare has declined dramatically. By 1999, there were only 7.2 million recipients, including 2.6 million families and 5.1 million children, roughly half the caseload of the 1994 peak..” (I know the numbers don’t add, but they are not suppose to. You aren’t actually suppose to add them. They are sliced representations of he total. )

2 Additional tests could be run to match urine to an individual. (We don’t need any more pregnant men, menopausal 20/30 year old women, etc ) So, 0/ You could have someone watch them pee (another person you have to pay and monitor. They could be taking bribes, peeing in the cup for you!). 1/ You could DNA test, mouth swab, which you could then type to the urine sample (this results in more tests, more people to administer it, etc. which means more costs)

3 This might be a good thing. The real estate market is coming crashing down. More companies are going out of business, downsizing, off shoring and near shoring. There could be a lot of [refrigerated] warehouse space available on the market (do you know of any?) It could also be a boom to the construction market, building more warehouses. (I can’t think of any major cities in the US that need major reconstruction efforts at the moment, so the construction workers should be available to build new ones.) There is a lot of land, I understand, available in St. Bernard Parish. But if you built the urine storage facilities down there, what happens if you have another hurricane come through? Just think of all the pee and all the plastic cups! Al Gore would be livid.

4 There are so many trained urine techs on the dole these days. You could train new ones. But they would need to be urine tested as well. Where could we find them? Oh yeah! The people on welfare, they need jobs, but we just accused them of using drugs (and remember 25% of them are) are we sure we want former drug addicts running urine tests?